My Life Journal

I have no idea what this is, but my friend once told me that “Writing journal can help one person to feel better after pouring down their feelings and stories.” So here I am, trying to make one. I’m trying to make a journal, my life journal.

I kinda doubt it actually, because there’s nothing interesting that’s going on in my life. It’s just me, my room and loneliness. I don’t really do much thing in a day. I don’t do anything at all, sometimes. I just lay in my bed, watching Youtube, scrolling down my Instagram feeds, thinking about life, thinking when will I graduate. Thinking about missing some people in my life, friends, family, best friends, boyfriend. My life is kinda boring. But I never get bored of it. I enjoy my life the way it is.

I enjoy how I spent the day laying on the bed until its dark outside, I love watching some creative Youtube videos that inspire me (but still don’t motivate me). I like being inspired by the pictures on Instagram that people posted. Makes me want to take or make pictures like that. And wondering if I can do that as a job.

But today, it’s different. Today, I’m trying to be productive. Well, I should be productive for my research at the Lab, but I just don’t feel like to do that today. I woke up early (than I did usually), and thinking what do I want to do today. I’ve been thinking to watch the Fantastic Beast again for the second time, but never get the chance, so I decided I’m going to watch it again today. The first time I watched it, I was all alone, and now, I’m still alone. I don’t see any of my friends interested in this kind of movie (though I think this movie is great), but it’s not as bad as you think it is, go to the movie alone. It is fun, actually.

I finished watch it, and here I am now at the Starbucks. I know, so mainstream. I’m on my laptop, looking all busy typing, but in fact I’m just writing this piece of garbage. Maybe that’s just what most people do at the coffee shop, to look all busy so everybody think they have a life? Well, me for example. I don’t have a life, but I’m still writing about it anyway.

What’s my plan here? I planned to make a CV and download some movies (maybe) and a Korean TV show. I saw a post on Instagram earlier today, about an Instagram account that hiring a photographer for their account. I’m so interested. So I DM the account administrator, asking the questions about the hiring thing before I send them my CV. But then I think I’ll just send it anyway. I’m currently looking for a creative resume template so that I can send it to them.

Why do I want to apply for this job? Well, because I love taking pictures. I love photography. However, I’m not a professional. That was the thing I asked them. Then they say, they looking for a photographer around Jakarta, sadly, I’m not in Jakarta. Though my home is in Jakarta. So I asked them the other question, that maybe it’s a remote job so I can work it on a distance, not a stay at office work.

Now, I’m not really sure. Photography is my passion. I’ve loving it for a long long time now. I actually have so many other things that I liked. I love singing, drawing (though I’m not so good at it), writing, reading. But nothing can beat my love to photography. I often get bored with those things, but I never get bored taking good pictures. Sometimes I took rubbish but I try to make it look good. So here I am, trying to make a good CV hoping that this is a good chance for me to develop my ability in photography. My major in university has nothing to do with photography or any kind of art thing (maybe that’s why I took too long to graduate). I realize that it’s not something that I passionate about. I love everything that involved art, and creativity, though sometimes I feel that I lack of it. I honestly regret that. I regret that I ignored what I like the most that could maybe bring me closer to achieve what I wanted. But that’s okay. It happened. I try to clean the mess that I made. But that’s fine. I’m fine. Really.

I think, that’s it what I have in mind today. I’ll try to make it again, make it daily if I can. Cheers☺.